Wednesday, December 4, 2019

Why I am just trying to be a Zero and not a Writer or Author or Researcher?

The number zero is very interesting. It is a sense of completion, a feeling of timelessness, and fallibility of being incomplete with mistakes. Every time, Lucy, Shapno, Aman, Hema and others are born zero becomes important. It is also a circle of life and completion at the same time. It is this circular journey but not an economy which tells me that I am just striving to be a zero but not a researcher, writer or author.

This feeling of zero and not a writer or author comes up when I realise everytime that texts are nothing but an amalgamation of several indiscernible voices. A space called literature is nothing but to invent these voices and hence the space is neuter. A similar notion is also associated with zero. Zero is always a neuter full of discernible voices to be heard and then sung in their own harmonies. It is a neuter, as it is a space where every subject and predicate, identities of a text escapes and gets lost. In that zone of neuter, the body which creates the text is also even lost in eternity. The tissues of the body are created and cremated at the same time in that space.

Everytime, this loss of text happens, there is a fall of a writer or author or researcher followed by the rise of a zero. The feeling of this rise of zero in the gender of text which is neuter can be traced back historically. In primitive societies, narrative and text were never undertaken by a person but by a performing speaker. At the end of the middle ages, with the advent of French rationalism, English empiricism, personal faith of reformation, suddenly it was one human being who became more important than the zero or the neuter. As a result of that advent of reformation, author and writer suddenly became important in literary history, biographies of writers, magazine interviews, private journals. Literature and text transformed from a neuter to a world centering around the writer and author. So therefore, explanation of the work started relying on the writer and the author who produced it and delivered confidence about it.

Hence, the empire of author and writer started growing. However, people like Mallarme (in France), Proust consistently tried to blur the lines and relationships between the author, writer and the texts, imageries of the work. Proust reversed this by making his life into a work of novel rather than  a novel of work into life. In doing that, language as a system also needed to be broken to create the neuter zero and imageries. Hence, abrupt violation of expected meanings of texts started happening. Linguistic importance of the texts of author, writer needed to be broken to create this surrealism in the neuter dimension of texts for imageries. Hence, the role of language is to just often create a subject and as the subject ends, the language should end and visual imageries and zero should begin. Hence, to strive to write a modern text is to push one self in a journey to completely isolate the work from the act of writing to a visual imagery deposited in the collective account of the readers. The readers can use the account in their own ways and can also interpret the account as per their own perspectives and needs.

Thus if a zero can finally happen with someone, then every work becomes a past of the present and just like a relationship of antecedence which a father or mother maintains with his or her child. So writing is just a one time act and the writer is just a one time actor. An author or writer is a subject for one time whose act ends with every work and then creates a predicate in the next work to be left in the custody of readers. With every such act, there is a shift in the power from the writer or author to the reader through a set of visual imageries creating a space of many dimensions. If this happens, then the journey of zero and completion, circle of life completes. Otherwise, everytime, a writer is combining all forms of genre, writing, countering and not countering oppositions, criticisms and not sustaining oneself with just one of such writings. So, does the act of becoming a zero means - "A release of humors, sentiments, naiveties, passions, impressions and an enormous sun from where all the energy comes out but the release has no halt or end to it?"

Zero and the neuter is therefore supreme and a book can only imitate that zero in an infinite loop of an energy coming from the sun within. Once, therefore a zero is established, a writer and author collapses like a star, the need to claim and decipher a text becomes useless. Such deciphering exercise actually stops the text and imagery then in the minds of the reader. Let the critic and reader conquer those imageries, texts and the zero and if after everything if required the author can be discovered. It is more important to traverse the space of such imageries, neuter zero rather than penetrating it. If such an act can happen, then only literature can liberate an activity and a secret by refusing any meaning to zero. It is almost like refusing the existence of god, reason, science and law with a continuous existential crisis. The true locus of this entire journey is therefore reading and zero and not the existence of the author or writer.

Well, investigation of this journey reveals some case studies in my mind based on some of the current readings of last four to six months. Unilateral understanding of characters, imageries instead of language happens a lot in Greek tragedies. In these tragedies, a text is linguistically not perfect but is a set of multiple writings, imageries, collection of a multiplicity of dialogues in the minds of the reader. It also happened in the case of - "All the Light We Cannot See" by Anthony Doerr, "Never Let Me Go" by Kazuo Ishiguro. However, in past one week, as a reader I got it most from a book called - "Man Eater" by Eka Kurniawan. A supernatural tale of murder, desire and crime poignantly creates a Zero even at the end of the reading. After completion of the book, one can easily say, that modern writing is all about establishment of a Zero and only aims at the birth of the reader with a blurring of the author or writer.