“A Burnt Bat To Ash (2004 – 2019)”
“When does a body turn to ash” – Is it only when it is burnt? “When does an ash turn to a body” – Is it only when the ashes are joined, condensed to form a bat! The science of pyrolisis suggests it is not possible but magic realism of heart wants it!
Sketch of A Burnt Bat To A Quilting Ash: Anandajit Goswami
The storyline as the title suggests can move from the body to ash or from ash to body. In this case, the body is actually a CRICKET Bat. A Cricket Bat with a logo of BDM written on it. The BAT could have moved from 2004 to 2019 and transformed into an ash. On the other hand, the ash could have moved from 2019 to 2004 and ended up being a CRICKET Bat. Hence, the CRICKET Bat is a symbolism, metaphor of emotions in a forward, backward journey of time and space with an individual persona called – “Mahesh Chand”.
Mahesh Bhai or Gower or Gawar as we called him in our cricket parties, matches, team meetings, get together, intermittent hangouts in “Aunty’s Chai Shop” outside the fourth gate of IHC was both a burnt bat and an Ash for many of us.
He was a life – simple, straightforward, with a quintessential smile and always focused to be played with a straight forward bat. His locus of life was – “cricket matches, any distinguished performance by anyone in any cricket match on TV or at the Patchy Green”. His eyes were simple and if it was praised, he would give a shy, newly wed both bride and groom smile saying – “Kya Baat Kar Rahein Hai”! The same eyes were always happy to serve for the team and with a glass of water or a cup of tea or coffee for researchers, guests of TERI in the meeting rooms and within the Board Room with esteemed members. Our Mahesh Bhai from the day one became the big helping brother in the cricket dressing room for every new comer. He would cordially introduce a new comer to other team members by saying – “Yeh Kaptaan Hai, Yeh Vice Kaptaan Hai, Yeh…”. And the introduction would continue with allegories and description about every team member to a new comer. Starting from this introduction to helping a new comer in the cricket nets, helping the new comer in physical and mental pain from cricket match bruises, non -performances, he was always there. He would just come forward; pat your back after getting out on a duck and say – “Koi Baat Nahi, Ball Bahut Acchi Thi – Aapki Galti Nahi Thi”.
From 2004 – 2019, this journey sustained with no inconsistency. In many cases, the docile, Mahesh Bhai or Gower would also intentionally entertain cricket colleagues by dancing to the tune of – “Parda Hai Parda” from the film – “Amar, Akbar, Anthony” by Manmohan Desai. His dance style, acting, rasa, abhinay during the same dance performance had touches of a drag artist often with a little, gracious lasciviousness which would add a different gender dimension to this – “BAT”. All our heart burns, ashes generated from the loss of a cricket final would be healed selflessly by – “Mahesh Bhai/Gower/Gawar” or the “BAT”. Often he would intentionally be a subject of a grouped banter, leg-pulling, just to quench our heart burns, heart ashes, with his light weighted straight bat – “BDM”. Sometimes, he would also be naïve, sentimental, touchy with the banters and would stop coming to the cricket matches. So the “BAT” would be very much like a PET DOG inverted to be a GOD and would have to be worshipped, cajoled many times to seek his arrival on the cricket ground. When he would come back, he would again childishly serve and heal us with his passion for CRICKET, BAT, BOWL, TEAM MATES, and THE CRICKET GAME.
The BAT or the GOWER or MAHESH BHAI would happily serve drinks as a twelfth man to his younger mates during the course of 2007 – 2018 while giving away his glorious number two batting position for upcoming cricketers of the cricket team including me. The game of cricket in this timeline had changed towards power hitting, athleticism but his grace, class of humanism, decency, gentleman ship did not go even though he was approaching his fifties being a part of the cricket team. Like a drag artist, he would show to all of us, the colours of life, art, science, gender, sexuality, wisdom for putting water to our burns, ashes in between 2004 to 2019 back and forth in time. He was doing this to prevent the conversion of a bat or a body to ash or an ash to a body while many of us like me were rising and falling through the tides of time, life in the forward time journey from 2004 onwards. Often, when I was away from Delhi and then again would come back to Delhi and meet him , GAWAR or BAT or MAHESH BHAI would only heal , make me and all of us smile with his gender neutral small gossips, bitching which were simple and harmless. The gossips, bitching were ordinary but yet extraordinary to define him, us and all of us together.
But then, 2019 came. It came to many of our lives with a shock. On a weekday, suddenly around 7 pm, an untimely, unexpected call came from a cricket colleague bringing a spine chilling wave to our backbone. The shock was so much that some of us had to rush to his house from our workstations or homes on that day. We reached his house. The name -plate of the house had written – “MAHESH CAPTAIN” on it. The nameplate summarised everything about him. As we reached, there was hustle and bustle going on. Police, local people, neighbours, relatives were there around his house. Murmurs were going around amongst the local people while two constables were busy talking amongst them. Some of us were not allowed to enter the room of the house where he used to stay. However, one amongst us could manage and the description that came out was not routed in our wildest imagination. According to that description, GOWER/GAWAR/MAHESH BHAI/BAT was dead inside with a suicide note on his bed. His head was toppled over the open lid of a SINTEX water storage tank which was kept inside the room. The numb, cold body was very accurately placed in such a position with a suicide note on his bed. The letters of the suicide note were unorganised, trembled, chaotic, disturbed with a jerky and shaking tendency. Many of us like me could not believe that our BAT had so many ashes, burns inside himself during this timeline of 2004 – 2019. We could not believe that GOWER can be so GAWAR to claim his own life by not being with the stream of his lifeline. His persona on the cricket ground was of sportsmanship with selflessness, fighting and positive spirit with full of practicality and wisdom.
“How Could A Person Like Him Do This?” – The question haunted many of us till his last journey to the Nigam Bodh Ghat. The peculiarity of his body position in the room, unnerved eye expressions in many during his last rites, rituals in the crematorium only exacerbated the speculation about the normalcy of his death. The silent gossips amongst the local people accompanying in his last journey as a dead body on this Earth added layers to our speculation about the mystery of his death backed by a suicide note on his bed. The cricket team members along with his family members contributed in the completion of the cleaning, washing of the deadbody before it was put up for burning with fire-woods and logs. His deadbody did not have the class position to deserve the electric crematorium of NIGAM BODH GHAT. When the fire was just going to be put on his deadbody, a favourite, newly bought BDM Cricket BAT was kept above his deadbody by Sanjay (the former TERI cricket team captain during the peak years of Mahesh Bhai) and all of us who were his crime partners in the cricket team. Then, some firewoods, logs were placed above it. The fire was put on. His face was covered with stacks of logs, woods, firewoods. Gradually, nothing could be seen as the fire burning started to reach its peak by being accelerated with constant intrusion of air, ghee and other necessary burning catalysts. Few cricket team colleagues were still standing while the body was burning. I squatted down with an agog.
“Can I still see the BDM BAT?”
A question came on my mind. I thought that the BDM Bat was still visible. May be I was hallucinating or my mind was not ready to let go off the BDM Bat. Twenty Minutes passed by. Gradually, everyone was deciding to leave the cremation spot; the crowd was disbursing, dispersing too. A smoky smell of carbon, ash was actively odour able. I was not in a mood to leave the spot. I was still hopeful to smell the odour of the – “BDM BAT” and the character “GOWER”, “GAWAR”, “MAHESH BHAI”, “PARDAH”. The sun was setting in around 5.30 pm as time passed by. We all had to finally start moving towards home. We became homeward bound with the fabric of the BURNT BDM BAT and the Ashes Inside…………!
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